I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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