Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
