this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize