That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
