My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
