i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
