Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
