Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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