ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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