im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
