Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There are leaves in my underwear?
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