Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
