HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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