I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
