can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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