Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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