here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I did not marry a roomba.
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