They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize