i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
