I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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