like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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