you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
