Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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