so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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