There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
