I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
