so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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