Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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