i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
