Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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