some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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