You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize