Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
