I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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