someone threw a dead crab at me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize