I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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