Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.