You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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