no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
