Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
