So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
