that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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