Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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