your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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