i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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