Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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