So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You made out with two different species that night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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