bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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