Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize