can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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