I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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