we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
