dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
