youre lurking in front of me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
