She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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