Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
