Sponge bath it is.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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