Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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