She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
