Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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